I think that every industry should have an awards show:

"And the award for best McDonalds drive through attendant goes to..."

YEARS BEST HEADLINES

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

I am usually not very interested in reality shows, but this show stands far above the rest. You are missing out big time, if you haven't been watcing.

Censorship in this country is getting out of control. Clear Channel Communications just suspended Howard Stern's radio show (news article). I don't understand these people. Their priorities are completely backwards. For example, they don't think twice about depictions of violence, but the minute someone says something about sex, it is a huge scandal. I still don't understand why the Janet Jackson thing was such a big deal. Men's nipples are shown on TV all of the time. Is there something wrong with a woman's nipple? They look exactly the same to me...

Additionally, why would a visual display of extreme violence (The Passion of the Christ) be considered spiritual and an auditory depiction of naked women be considered obscene?

Here are some surprising statistics for everyone to ponder: The United States of America, probably the most uptight country (about sex) in the industrialized world, has the highest teenage pregnancy rate. It's strange when you think about it. The proponents of censorship assume that if children are never exposed to sex, they will never have sex. The facts prove them wrong.

This country will never improve, never become the morally advanced nation, which so many people are hoping for, without a more rational view of sexuality. The human body is not repulsive. Closed minded leaders, who try to suppress the thoughts of the public, will drive this country into the ground.

Oh no. Ralph Nader is running again. Come on man, stick to writing books and making speeches. No one wants to repeat the national embarrassment that was the 2000 election. The fact that Bush won was embarrassing enough.

I brought Turtle to the dog park today. The weather was beautiful (for the first time in months) and a ton of people were there. This big Mastiff kept wanting to play with Turtle, but Turtle was too afraid. The Mastiff realized that his large size was intimidating, so he laid down next to Turtle to be smaller. It was very cute, but Turtle was more interested in playing with the dog's owners. Soon all of the big dogs at the park noticed my funny little dog and crowded around him. Turtle was afraid, but I didn't rescue him because I want him to get use to the big dogs.

After socializing for a while, I took him for a walk down the trail. He had a great time jumping over the logs and running next to the river. I hope the weather stays this nice so we can come back soon.

Emily is so wonderfull... One thing in particular I love about her is her ability to cook absurdly good food. I have been working the noon to 8:30 pm shift, and I rarely have time for a meal (our lunch break is only 30 minutes). I often come home to find a delectable array of scrumptious sustenance. Today in particular. When I arrived home I was greeted by chicken, topped with creamy Italian dressing, and served over a bed of rice. Muy Bueno!

I know that this topic will not interest some of you (Dave), but I'm going to talk about it anyway. This is my blog, I can talk about whatever I want (right mom?). I saw a 'Primetime' interview with Mel Gibson about The Passion of the Christ. There has been a lot of controversy about whether or not the movie is anti-semetic. The jews may have been the ones who originally brought Jesus to the Romans, but it was the Romans who actually killed him.

This is why I have officially begun a national campaign to banish all Italians from this glorious, god-fearing country. John Ashcroft was the first to join. He said, "while we're at it, we should banish everyone except rich, white, conservative christians!" I quickly calmed him down and explained that his idea might be counterproductive.

On a different, and completely unrelated note, let me give you a recap of the last couple days in my life. Yesterday I spent all day in the yearly company meeting. We spent 8 hours trying to figure out the greatest problems we face, and the most viable solutions. I felt like the meeting would bring about some real changes. Today everything was back to normal, the meeting may as well have never happened.

I use old country expressions that express the homespun wisdom acquired by rural people over years of drinkin' contaminated groundwater, such as: 'Don't light a match 'til you know which end of the dog is barkin.'


-dave barry

Emily and I have a problem... We are sick of eating all of the foods we normally eat. So, we end up having peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and spaghetti every day

You know when someone, who you never really knew in the first place and haven't spoken to in a long time, IMs you? (No, I'm not talking about you Marshal, but it was nice hearing from you and thanks for the html coding help.) What do you say to them? It happened to me yesterday and it kinda pissed me off. This guy who I met one time (and he was rude to me) IMed me yesterday and started asking how I've been and what I've been up to. I didn't even know what to say. I gave him the brief summary of my experiences from the last year. He kept asking me these pointless questions, so I started to get really annoyed. I tried to ignore him, but he persisted: asking about someone I met maybe once. I stopped messing around and told him to go away. He obviously could not take the hint; the mindless banter continued. So, I blocked his screen name and tried to go about my business.

About half an hour later I hear a knock on my door. That's right, it was him. I opened the door wide enough to ask what the hell he was doing. He told me that he just wanted to stop by and say hi. I told him that I was busy, and closed the door. He stood there knocking on the door for almost a hour before I called the cops. About twenty minutes later, the knocking stopped. I'm glad he's gone, but I hope he didn't get arrested.

I don't understand why so many people are upset about gay marriages. Who cares? I think it's great! Gay people should be allowed to live a happy married life just like straight people. And it pisses me off when anyone gives the excuse that gays shouldn't be allowed to get married because it breaks the sanctity of marriage. It's a lame excuse. You know what really breaks the sanctity of marriage? The fact that half of all marriages end in divorce. If you're going to get married, make sure you choose the right person and stick with your decisio

First, I must apologize to all of my adoring fans. I have been too busy finding a web host and setting up my site in this new location to write in my blog. I decided to go with Newbiesite.com. So far so good.


I have been working at video labs for just over a week. I like it much better now than I did the first day. Today the whole company was almost shut down indefinitely, because the most important computer in the building crashed. They have the Video Commander running on an ancient computer; probably the oldest one in the building (yeah, put the most important system on a piece of crap computer, great idea). There is no back up for the program or anything on the hard drive. Luckily we were able to fix it.


I'm on a new schedule: noon to 8:30. It's cool because I have time to do things before work, but it sucks because I get home after the Simpsons. I always have to speed on the way home because I miss Emily and Turtle.

I should not have been so hard on video labs the other day. The job is actually pretty cool. Plus, some of the people there know I have a blog.

I started my new job at video lab today and I have been debating whether or not to talk shit about it in my blog. On one hand, anyone at work who searches for my name in google will come up with this page, on the other hand, who cares? Anyway, my day mainly consisted of moving and counting boxes of tapes. Occasionally I would get to QC some videos or load dubbing machines. Basically it was a boring waste of time. Well it wasn't that bad, I get paid to be there (not that the pay was so great). There were good parts, the people seem nice and the experience will be beneficial later in my career.


I don't understand how the majority of the human race can stand by and watch as their live is wasted at some menial job. Given, many people have no choice (no skills or a profound need for money), but those with a sufficient mental capacity and financial situation need to seriously examine how they choose to spend a third of their life.